Teaching Your Teen Daughter Modesty

We bet that almost ALL parents of teen daughters can relate to this topic. Fighting the modesty battle is getting harder and harder, as the world keeps telling your daughter to show off more and more. But the battle is definitely worth it. Here's 5 quick tips we posted on our website last week that we hope will help you keep up the fight.

1. Set specific family modesty standards. . If all your daughter knows is that you want her to “dress modestly,” it’s easy for lines to be blurred or for her to feel like it will be impossible for her to live up to your modesty standards, and she may subsequently give up. Spend some time talking with your spouse about modesty standards you both agree on and then communicate them clearly to your daughter.

2. Tell your daughter she is beautiful.  Although stressing inward beauty over outward should be the priority, complimenting your daughter on a specific physical characteristic such as her eyes, hair, or even a specific (modest) outfit can really boost her self-esteem and self-image during an insecure time.

3. Model modesty in your own wardrobe. This may seem like a “well duh” point, but it could be harder than it sounds. As an adult woman, it can be easier to bend the modesty rules for ourselves .  But if your 13-year-old sees you walking out the door for date night—even if it’s with your husband— in a dress that breaks the modesty rules you’ve set for her, you lose credibility and may have a harder time winning the next modesty battle with her.

4. Know and explain your motives for modesty. What will you say when your daughter asks you why modesty matters? There are many different answers you can give, but here’s a few to consider. First and foremost, God calls us to modesty and purity. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” Now obviously this isn’t God’s way of telling us that we need to stick to ponytails and silver jewelry, but it is pretty clear about the importance of modesty in our role as Christian women. Secondly, how a girl dresses will determine the kind of guys she attracts. Your daughter may think she wants ANY kind of attention, but does she really want it from the guy looking for as much as he can get, as fast as he can get it, from any girl at all? To those kind of guys, it doesn’t matter who a girl is, or even how beautiful she is, as long as he can use her for what he wants.

5. Pray for your daughter daily. If earthly parents want purity for their daughter, how much more does our Father in Heaven want it for ALL of his daughters? So give your daughter all the prayer cover you can—God’s in your corner when it comes to modesty!

Read the full article on crosswindsyouth.org

By Crosswinds Caribbean Mountain Academy

Helping Teens Fight Peer Pressure

A few weeks ago Crosswinds CEO Mark Terrell  shared some helpful tips on our website about how to fight peer pressure with your child. During your child's teenage years, the people they surround themselves with are going to be some of the most powerful influences on their life, and it's important to be prepared for the fact that they may not always be the best influences!

If you feel that your teen is slipping into some bad relationships, or bad behaviors, take a look at the advice Mark gives on how to help steer them back on the right track.

Build or rebuild your relationship with your child:

o   Have a technology free vacation with your spouse and children
o   Start a hobby that you can do together:  painting, hiking, exercising, etc.
o   Eat dinner together
o   Never accept one word answers
o   Go on a family mission trip
o   Create new memories

Find a way to introduce new friends to the equation:

o   Go to church together
o   Introduce them to the youth pastor
o   Encourage them to participate in a new sport
o   Start a bible study together with them and their friends

Find a way to remove them physically from the influence:

o   Move to a new community
o   Enroll them in a new school
o   Have them attend a church camp

By Crosswinds Caribbean Mountain Academy

Caribbean Mountain Academy Teaches Teens to Value Others

Last week, Crosswinds CEO Mark Terrell blogged about how to teach your children the "preciousness of others." He begins with a personal story about visiting a concentration camp in Germany, and explains how he realized that an entire society had lost sight of the ability to value other human beings. Although this is an extreme example, it shows how careful we must all be to never forget the immense value of each and every human life. Even if we're not purposely hurting others, it's easy to become so wrapped up in our own schedules and problems that we forget to serve and care for others around us.

Mark and his son Hunter visit with Maria, a 

local Dominican woman, during a missions trip 

to Caribbean Mountain Academy

Mark goes on in his blog to explain that this concept of valuing others played a major role in the program development of Caribbean Mountain Academy. Mark writes that when his own children had the opportunity "to spend time serving, rather than being served, in a third world country [...] each one of them returned back with a new appreciation of what they have and the opportunities they have before them."

At Caribbean Mountain Academy, this concept gets put into action as students serve those in the local Dominican community around them. Through projects such as building houses, planning a VBS for local children, or renovating an old basketball court, students slowly begin to change their perspective and the way they think of others. They begin appreciate the satisfaction that comes from serving others—rather than serving themselves—and also the value of each person, no matter what country or culture they are from.

Mark writes that  "We wanted [Caribbean Mountain Academy] to be a place where young people would have the opportunity to learn to appreciate what they have, but more importantly have an opportunity to learn to appreciate the preciousness of others." And by the grace of God, this is exactly what it has become!

But even if your teen is not struggling with serious issues, teaching them the "preciousness of others" is still an important lesson. Taking time to serve others as a family—whether it's in another country or down the street—will help your children learn to look outside of their own world and value the preciousness of each human life.

By Crosswinds Caribbean Mountain Academy

Crosswinds and Caribbean Mountain Academy: What's the Difference?

What is Crosswinds? 

Crosswinds is a non-profit organization that began in 2011. All of Crosswinds’ services have a common goal: restoring families struggling with tough issues, facilitating long-term healing and growth. Our specialty is working with families who are dealing with issues relating to a troubled or difficult teen. None of our services offer a “quick fix,” but rather address the root of the problems a teen or family is facing, and then work to develop a long-term solution. We recognize that no two families are alike and so we offer a variety of services that can be “mixed and matched” to meet each family’s specific needs. Our programming can be broken down into two general areas: residential teen counseling and in-home family counseling.

What is Caribbean Mountain Academy? 

The residential teen therapy part of our program is where Caribbean Mountain Academy comes in. Located in the beautiful Dominican Republic, Caribbean Mountain Academy provides a safe and loving environment for teens to work through the struggles they have been facing.   It is offered as an option to families if the issues that they are facing with their troubled teen are spiraling out of control and a temporary change of environment for the teen is needed. Our program at Caribbean Mountain Academy seeks to address the root of the teen’s problems, rather than just addressing the behavioral symptoms. To ensure this holistic change, we require that the family of each teen enrolled at Caribbean Mountain Academy undergo regular in-home therapy and coaching during their teen’s stay. Meanwhile, the teen at Caribbean Mountain Academy will take part in intensive counseling, service projects for the local community, excursions to waterfalls, beaches, and mountains, all while receiving 24-hour care from our loving staff.

Does Crosswinds do anything else? 

Yes! Although our specialty is working with families raising troubled teens, Crosswinds also provides In-Home Family Counseling for families struggling with any number of issues. With the majority of family issues, especially those involving a troubled teen, we have found that treatment and healing are most effective when the whole family is involved. Our In-Home Family Counseling program provides personalized therapy in the privacy of your own home. This allows our staff to get a clearer picture of your family dynamics, improving your results and facilitating our effectiveness.  During the program, rather than focusing on just a family member who is in crisis, we focus on the entire family—parents, siblings, grandparents, or others within their circle of care. Our approach allows the whole family to acquire ownership in the progress and achievement of their goals. To ensure that your family has resources available at any time of need, we also offer 24-hour crisis intervention to any family enrolled in our In-Home Family Counseling program. Keeping families together is a high priority at Crosswinds, so we often recommend In-Home Family Counseling as the first step to overcoming family struggles.

By Crosswinds Caribbean Mountain Academy