Reacting to Your Teen & Therapeutic Crisis Intervention

If you are the parent of a teen, chances are pretty good that you will be gifted with the opportunity to confront disrespect or anger from your child. The natural response is to react with anger, frustration, yelling, or hurtful words. This is our tendency as human beings, and can feel like an effective defense mechanism.

But however "good" it may feel in the moment, reacting out of emotion will not only escalate the situation, but will also cause you to miss a crucial moment to teach your teen. When your teen is experiencing intense emotions, they may be physically unable to think clearly; this means that any lessons you attempt to teach them in the moment will be lost.  Your goal in an explosive situation of disrespect should be to de-escalate the emotion, giving you the opportunity to have a rational conversation with your teen. But that's easier said than done, right?

This is where a method called Therapeutic Crisis Intervention comes in. Therapeutic Crisis Intervention was developed by Cornell University, and focuses on de-escalating an explosive emotional situation. Many of our staff at Caribbean Mountain Academy have received formal training on Therapeutic Crisis Intervention. As a parent, try using the following first step of this method to control your own reaction. Before reacting, ask yourself these four questions:

1. What am I feeling?
2. What does my child feel, need, or want?
3. How is the environment affecting my child?
4. How do I best respond? 

Giving yourself even two minutes to consider these questions will allow you to respond in love, rather than in anger. After that, you can use an appropriate response from the Therapeutic Crisis Intervention method, such as gently helping them through a frustrating task, giving them space, or redirecting their attention to something else. 

By Crosswinds Caribbean Mountain Academy