The Value of Family

A few years ago while on vacation with my family, I began a discussion with my wife and children about what it really meant to value family, in the way God intended. I asked them if they thought families that were struggling ever meant to be in that situation, or did it happen gradually without them realizing it ? I also asked if that thought that families that are close to each and to God got there by accident or was it through intentionality and hard work?

The conversation was quite lively and it was determined that we needed to be much more intentional about where our family was going if we were going to continue valuing each other and God.

We talked about the fact that each of us would face difficulties in the future and that we needed to begin to be there for each other. We talked about the fact that we would always make that a priority, even when others conveniently walked away. We talked about the value of talking with each other regularly, whether through calling, texting or emailing, to encourage and chastise one other if needed.

One of my favorite moments after that day was when one of my sons called me to let me know that he had read something that one of his siblings' had posted on Facebook that was not Christlike.  But he then told me that he had, in his words, “handled it”. I asked what it meant to handle it. He said that he called his brother to let him know he had read the Facebook post, and that he needed to erase the entry. He also said he would “kick his butt” if he saw something like that again. 

Some people might question the logic of this moment, but I saw it as a moment of our family coming together in a small way that would serve as a model for the future, when the issue might be much more severe. Issues such as drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships, work ethic, honesty and personal faith are now the responsibility of each member of our family. Accountability alone will not ensure that your family will always value each other and God, but it is a great way to start. 

By Mark Terrell, CEO

Parenting a Teen in the Age of Social Media

If you're the parent of a teen, the words "social media" might give you a pit in your stomach as your mind immediately jumps to all of the horrible stories you have read about the dangers of this exponentially growing industry that your kids understand so much more than you do. But social media, like any new technology, is not inherently bad. In fact, it is arguably an important skill for your child to learn as it will no doubt become relevant in their future lives. Social media has become an industry, not to mention a critical part of most business strategies, so consider that chances are good that being social media savvy could very well benefit your child's career.

But on the flip side, if not used responsibly, it could greatly damage their career, relationships, and even safety. So what can parents do to teach teens how to use a powerful tool they may not understand themselves? A few suggestions:


Be aware: Know exactly what social media sites your teen uses, and make it your business to at least learn the basics of those same sites. Create a profile on each of the sites and, even if you never post anything yourself, use it to keep tabs on what they are posting. Let your teen know you will be keeping tabs on what they post and require them to accept you as a friend or follower. This establishes that principle that they shouldn't be posting anything they would not want you seeing.

Determine specific age privileges: There are certain ages where teens simply don't yet have the maturity to be solely responsible for the power social media provides. Talk with your spouse and agree on levels of privileges for each age. For example, your child can create a social media account when they are 13 but must give you the login and password. When they turn 14, you will not log in anymore, but will still check their profile, etc. 

Reward responsibility: If your teen proves themselves to be responsible with a Facebook account for a set amount of time, allow them to also get a Twitter. Conversely, if they post inappropriate pictures, words, etc. on one social media account, let them know ahead of time that this will result in a waiting period before they can create more accounts. 

Understand the identity issues: Parents often don't understand how much a teen's identity can become wrapped up in the number of friends, followers, likes, and comments a teen has on a specific social media account. In their minds, popularity is now quantifiable and public, and can take an enormous toll on self-esteem if the numbers aren't high enough. Don't shrug it off if your teen gets upset about the low number of likes they got on a picture. Use it as an opportunity to talk with them about identity. Sympathize with their struggle, but also explain the lack of real value in these numbers that seem so important in the moment.

Tell them the horror stories: If you read a story about an old inappropriate picture costing a prospective employee job, or  a man being arrested for uploading a video where he pretending to drink and drive , casually mention it to your teen. It doesn't need to be a long lecture about the evils of social media, but letting your teen know about real consequences for things posted will stick with them. Then maybe they'll think twice before posting that status about drinking or drugs that to them was a joke, but could have very real consequences.

By Crosswinds Caribbean Mountain Academy